Stop making books into films and start making them into a tv show so we could have a lot more detail to them and they can stick to the book easier.
I thought this was going to make me annoyed but everything turned out better than expected
If my dog wants my attention, she quickly licks my mute button on my laptop so my music will shut off and i will pet her
im not kidding
reasons I need a dog
you ask me what my favorite animated character is . i look at you grimly, and begin to sweat. you ask again. what is your favorite animated character. i remove my wallet from my pocket and give you a look taht begs you not to do this. you repeat the question. i open my wallet. a tear streams down my face. the list covers seven city blocks. people are screaming.
Do my dark undereye circles and unwashed hair turn you on
BUT WHY IS THIS A REAL THING THO.
My house is strange. There’s me, i’m bisexual, and I live with my gay brother and my asexual fiance.
My brother and I have the same taste in boys, but i’m really the only one who likes girls, and my fiance is generally just really excited about dragons.
Dude I want this sitcom
is generally just really excited about dragons
Natalie Dormer + Doing the thing
IMPORTANT FERGUSON UPDATE - WATCH THIS VIDEO BEFORE YOUTUBE TAKES IT DOWN
CNN REPORTER Fredricka Whitfield interviews the Store Owner’s Lawyer (from the store that was “”“”“”“robbed”“”“”“”“”“”” by “”“”“”“”“”mike brown”“”“”“”“”“)
As the lawyer begins to explain what really happened, cnn “”“”“loses the feed”“”“”“
B Y E. E E E E E E E E E E E
Bruh CNN is on some bullshit. That has never happened before and they the way they “lost” the feed was so fabricated.
Shout out to the man in the editing room. He deserves a promotion.
My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%
NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.
It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.
An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.
So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.
My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.
I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..
What’s next pizza delivery hitmen
included in this order for a large ground beef is a dossier containing information on your target. he is to be neutralized before delivery. do not let him reach the airport. no pepperoni.
i have never wanted to reblog something more in my life
the life of a Disney Cast Member.
Life of anyone in the service industry.
The following occurred over the phone when a client had a minor issue with the site I built for him.
Client: Hi, the margin between the logo and the content is wrong. Can you simply change it while I’m on the phone?
Me: Sure. Did you want the margin to be bigger or smaller?
Client: Can you…
I was doing headshots of physicians for a local hospital.
Client: Yeah, this is no good. You need to Photoshop this one. He looks too mysterious.
Client: Yes. We don’t want our doctors looking mysterious.
I still haven’t figured out what they meant by “mysterious”. I ended up removing a few crow’s feet and that seemed to suffice in removing any “mystery”.