underhuntressmoon:

jemmasimmns:

one difference between cats and dogs is that dogs do absolutely nothing to mask their clinginess while cats pretend it’s a coincidence they’re in the same room as you 97% of the time

"The fact I am laying on your face means nothing"



moriarty:

chocolatemew:

zimpreg:

characters that go from villain to weird family member give me strength

image

image



itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed


1,559,935 plays

kazekag:

here, have some childhood nostalgia


demon-moose:

spookytox:

jacks-compass:

thecrowdedmindofjohnnydepp:

 ”no u arent doing it right let me demonstrate”

Johnny depp teaching other johnny depps so they can rule the world in his absence

The mother Depp teaches it’s Depplings how to behave in the wild. 

depplings


hecallsmepineappleprincess:

puff-to-tuff:

These are just the right mix of douchy and nerdy I was looking for.

Are these real?
Please tell me because I want that squirrel one so bad.


kalikardashian:

thelilnan:

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE

OKAY

AJAX SOAP

image

THEIR SLOGAN IS “STRONGER THAN GREASE”

AND I WAS LIKE OKAY YEAH MAKES SENSE FOR A DISH SOAP- WAIT

AJAX WAS A GREEK SOLDIER RENOWNED FOR HIS STRENGTH

AJAX IS STRONGER THAN ALL OF GREECE

someone who worked at ajax has literally waited 66 years for you to get this



dreaming-witheyesclosed:

I like how in old animation, you knew what object the characters would interact with. Because they were significantly less detailed than the stationary objects around them.

dreaming-witheyesclosed:

I like how in old animation, you knew what object the characters would interact with. Because they were significantly less detailed than the stationary objects around them.


I once told a joke about a straight person.

They came after me in droves.

Each one singing the same:

Don’t fight fire with fire.

*

What they mean is: Don’t fight fire with anything.

Do not fight fire with water.

Do not fight fire with foam.

Do not evacuate the people.

Do not sound the alarms.

Do not crawl coughing and choking and spluttering to safety.

Do not barricade the door with damp towels.

Do not wave a white flag out of the window.

Do not take the plunge from several storeys up.

Do not shed a tear for your lover trapped behind a wall of flame.

Do not curse the combination of fuel, heat, and oxygen.

Do not ask why the fire fighters are not coming.

*

When they say: Don’t fight fire with fire.

What they mean is: Stand and burn.

Stand and Burn by Claudia Boleyn.  (via claudiaboleyn)

15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance

urbanclictionary:

doin a group project likeimage


bluesigma:

piikopoko:

you were either a winx 

image

or a w.i.t.c.h

image

this makes me feel old.


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